Rebelling body parts

My entire head is driving me crazy. Let me count the ways …

1. The skin around my eyes is trying desperately to resemble a road map of everywhere I’ve ever been. Since Hawaii is the only state I’ve missed and I’ve been in 8 foreign countries, you can imagine the amount of moisturizers and other alleged face miracle workers I’m employing in an attempt to keep it from succeeding in its quest.
   

2. I can hardly operate the tweezers quickly enough to control my chin’s desire to grow a goatee.

3. My hair looks like I’ve highlighted it in front. I haven’t. Thankfully, my grey is more like blond (or at least my very, very nice friends tell me that – can you spell l-i-t-t-l-e w-h-i-t-e l-i-e?).

4. And on top of all that, although I am most assuredly not male, I seem to have caught a MAN COLD. (You can thank Average Jane for directing me to this hysterical video.)